Humor, including Gallows
There is a lot of good humorous postings floating around among the classmates. Let's capture it here. To start off, here is the latest posting from Wayne Rudloff.
EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.
WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.
MY NAME IS ALICE , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL .
'YES. YES, I DID.. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!', I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED FACED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-BITCH
ASKED,
'WHAT DID YOU TEACH ?
I liked this one sent by a friend to me.
donP
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Some comic relief
•Half of us are going to come out of this quarantine as amazing cooks. The other half will come out with a drinking problem.
•I used to spin that toilet paper like I was on Wheel of Fortune. Now I turn it like I'm cracking a safe.
•I need to practice social-distancing from the refrigerator.
•Still haven't decided where to go for Easter ----- The Living Room or The Bedroom
•PSA: every few days try your jeans on just to make sure they fit. Pajamas will have you believe all is well in the kingdom.
•Homeschooling is going well. 2 students suspended for fighting and 1 teacher fired for drinking on the job.
•I don't think anyone expected that when we changed the clocks we'd go from Standard Time to the Twilight Zone
•This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious she thought her cat understood her. I came into my house, told my dog..... we laughed a lot.
•So, after this quarantine.....will the producers of My 600 Pound Life just find me or do I find them?
•Quarantine Day 5: Went to this restaurant called THE KITCHEN. You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
•My body has absorbed so much soap and disinfectant lately that when I pee it cleans the toilet.
•Day 5 of Homeschooling: One of these little monsters called in a bomb threat.
•I'm so excited --- it's time to take out the garbage. What should I wear?
•I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Puerto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
•Classified Ad: Single man with toilet paper seeks woman with hand sanitizer for good clean fun.
•Day 6 of Homeschooling: My child just said "I hope I don't have the same teacher next year".... I'm offended.